In Search of Grayt Hair

"Women are hungry. We are hungry for authenticity and simplicity and vulnerability. We are hungry for assessibility and connectivity and humility. We are hungry for integrity and we are hungry for gritty change." ~Ann Voskamp

I started finding gray hair at age 22 and started coloring a few years later.

So much internal stuff to be worked out through this process of transitioning to natural haircolor. Who knew this would be SUCH a journey. Ours is a culture that WORSHIPS youth and tries to ignore aging or views aging as an awful thing. I just don't want to spend the rest of my life fighting what is going to happen anyway. Harmony seeker all the way.

December 2012 was the last time I dyed my hair. The decision was made before I read the book, 'Where'd You Go, Bernadette?' by Maria Semple but by the time I finished reading it, and certainly after my bookclub discussion on this book in January 2013, the decision was CEMENTED. That was when I vowed to do this thing.

I lived in the Seattle area for 15 years. I guess that was long enough for me to identify as a Seattleite because I was SO offended by the main character's hatred of Seattle. Read this article - it explains things better than I could.

The long and short of gray hair: Is it true Seattle women never dye?

Seattle finally got its Portlandia moment last summer with the publication of “Where’d You Go, Bernadette,” the comedic best-seller (and upcoming movie) by Maria Semple.  The book’s main character, Bernadette — a recent transplant to Seattle from Los Angeles — has nothing but disdain for her adopted hometown.  She skewers Seattleites as a polar-fleece-clad, smugly progressive bunch of elitists.  And she finds the women here to be styleless and drab.  Of all Bernadette’s scathing wisecracks about Seattle, this one was probably the most-often repeated in book reviews:

There are two hairstyles here: short gray hair and long gray hair.  You go into a salon asking for color, and they flap their elbows and cluck, “Oh goody, we never get to do color!”

It’s a funny joke, but how true is it?  Compared with women in other cities, are Seattle women more likely to stay gray after they go gray?

As it turns out, Bernadette may be on to something.  Data from Experian Marketing Services show that, out of the 31 U.S. metropolitan areas with at least 1 million women, Seattle is one of just three that ranks in the bottom 10 for both home and professional hair coloring.  Seattle women rank 25th for use of home-coloring products and 24th for professional coloring or highlighting.  The other two metro areas that rank in the bottom 10 for both are Charlotte, N.C., and Baltimore, Md.  Just one place ranks in the top 10 for both hair-dye categories — Miami.

So maybe there is some truth about Seattle women not coloring their hair.  But shouldn’t that be a point of pride?  After all, it takes some confidence to not try to hide your age.  And gray or not, most mature women in Seattle do feel good about how they look.  In national surveys conducted by market data firm Scarborough Research, 71.9 percent of women over age 40 in Seattle said they were “somewhat or mostly content” with their appearance.  Out of the 50 largest metropolitan areas in the country, that ranks Seattle women third for feeling good about their appearance.

Take that, Bernadette!
Posted by Gene Balk

The biggest help for me, so far, has been the stumbling on of the Silver Sisters Cafe Gray website. http://w11.zetaboards.com/Cafe_Gray/index/ 

Most days I feel like I am THE ONLY PERSON in all of southern California who is trying to ditch hair color until I visit this site. While this 'movement' feels invisible in my little world, the women on this site, throughout the country (and even other parts of the globe) help me to realize I'm not the only one. I'm still seeking a gray-friendly hair stylist and Silver Sisters of the real variety as opposed to the virtual ones. But for now, thank goodness for the internet. I can go here to complain about comments from friends, family and strangers, see photos of other women in this process, get tips on products, changing wardrobes, hairstyles and makeup, look up others in my vicinity, get validity on how hard this really is to do but how worth it - it will be and mostly to soak up the encouragement. The diversity in The Cafe is rich with different ages (starting in their 30's), locations, reasons and personalities. 

Here I am, the only one among friends in this Halloween photo, to be in transition,
to even have gray silver hair or to be in hair-dye-hate.

Progress so far, after 1 year (age 44) ...

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And by the way, it is NEVER gray, it is always SILVER. Ha ha.